Career.
Why did you choose the career path you are on? H – RN, BSN. Each experience builds on the former ones. I love nursing because it can go so many directions. I am in a Compliance role now and love it, I love black and white. M – M.A., B.A. I chose to go into counseling b/c I really enjoy ministering profoundly to the person in the seat in front of me, particularly helping couples value each other and serve each other. Unfortunately, I have not found a way to make that pay, except on evenings and weekends, which quickly put me at risk of starving my own marriage to fight for someone else’s. So, for now, I’m not counseling, just killing my soul in a 9-5, and help/serve people/marriages where I can, off the books.
What dreams do you have for your future? H – It is a journey not a destination for me. M – still hold the expectation that I will counsel full-time someday, but still can’t see how.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Heather – Where God will have me. M – not worried about it. No idea at all.
I spent a lot of time on this topic with Mark and Heather over the phone because I know it’s one that has been a challenge for Mark. As you read above that Marks dreams are in counseling and helping others. A career or dream path that he doesn’t see happening at this point in his life. When I asked him to elaborate he got really honest with me about why.
After Mark received his Masters in Counseling, he started down the path of fulfilling his dream. He truly wants to give people a chance to have a safe chair to sit in to air their concerns, issues, crisis’, etc… His dream, or the photo he has in his head on how it should work out for him is this: Home Office, eventually Heather at home with their children so that in-between “sessions” he could spend time with family, And make enough money to pay the bills. He realizes that this dream picture isn’t going to happen. People just don’t pay that much for counseling, and the type of counseling he wants to pursue because it’s on his heart, has lousy hours. (evenings and weekends)
His first statement to me about this choice to not pursue counseling wasn’t about the money though. It was about the time. His best friend is Heather. And if this dream of counseling individuals and marriages took him away from his wife and best friend, he didn’t want that. He’d taken the path to meet his need of companionship and love over dreams of his career. The secondary motivation was the money, but really at the heart of the issue was time with his sweetheart. Heather is a Nurse, and works a 9-5 position, so if Mark were to pursue counseling they’d barely see each other because when one’s work ended, the other is starting.
It’s now been 9 years since grad school and he feels that the dream door is closed for him right now. It truly is a point of conflict within himself because he really has a gift in this area. (I’ll be a testament to that fact!) His marriage is his priority though, and for that I can hardly find him at fault for this decision. He wants to have both Marriage and Dream Counseling career, so it’s been a hard road for his heart to try and figure out how to do both.
Stay tuned tomorrow as we see if this couple has children in their future….
